My Top 10 Favorite Footwear

My best friend listed on her blog her top 10 favorite footwear so she inspired me to list my top 10 as well. Oh by the way, check her blog out if you like, ilovestrawberrykisses.blogspot.com

10. Flip Flops

I live in a tropical country so flip flops are the footwear of convenience. Everyone should own one decent pair of flip flops. :D

9. Vans Slip-Ons

It's very comfy and unlike my best friend, I have already worn it with a dress. And it's cute. :)

8. Wedges

Wedges are one of the most awesome things in fashion. It gives you the height you need plus the advantage of support. You won't wobble in these pretty babies. :)

7. Strappy Sandals

Okay, this one isn't so strappy but I love any kind of flat sandal. If it's this cute, I have to have it.

6. Black Ballet Flats

My best friend loves ballet flats but it's another story for me. I only like black ballet flats. I think it's very versatile. It goes with every outfit. I just think that it makes my feet seem longer and bigger. I'm only five feet flat and I don't want to look like a freakin' clown. Black ballet flats make my feet cuter and I don't need to worry about feeling like a clown. It's great with leggings too. :D

5. Boots

It is my absolute dream to wear boots. They're so freakin' fierce! I have a pair but I couldn't seem to find any outfit and any weather suitable to start wearing my boots. I promise at a friend's debut I will wear them. 

4. Beaded Sandals

I can't explain my fascination for beaded sandals. There's something so casual and laid-back about it but when you wear it you still feel very put together. I had one almost exactly like this pair but I have to throw it out because it's so worn out. It was my absolute favorite and I wore it everyday.

3. Gladiator Heels

So Fierce Looking. It can transform your entire outfit from a blah level to just plain awesome!

2. Loafers/ Oxford Shoes

Another fascination I just can't understand. There's something classy and elegant about these pairs of shoes. The oxford shoes make me look like a tap dancer from back in the golden days. :D

1. Patent Pumps

Yes! This is number one. It's timeless and elegant. The Patent Pump will forever have a place in fashion and if you don't have one, you should buy one. I have lots of patent pumps but they're not Louboutins but I promise, I will buy a pair someday. A Louboutin is not just a shoe, it's an investment. You will never regret buying and owning one. :)

If you checked out my best friend's list you will have to wonder how we became best friends. Her shoes are all sporty and casual and she wears flats with dresses. Come on! I get sun dresses but cocktail ones? NO! No one should ever wear flats to a formal soiree. Never! But even though we have different tastes in fashion (She's female Ted while I'm the more fashionable female Barney), I still love her. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the photographs above. Please do not sue me. :D

Say No to Pseudo Relationships

Pseudo Relationships! At last, there's a term for that sticky situation we get into when we are more than friends but less than lovers with someone else. My advice to all you ladies, stay away from these kinds of relationships. You deserve more than this!

The word Pseudo Relationship was coined to define a relationship without definitions. There's an irony in there. And thus my first and main reason why we should stay away from these kinds of relationships. Definitions are important. Defining something that has nothing to do with definitions just proves that in order for people to distinguish and make sense of something is to define it and name it. And when you enter into a pseudo relationship, all the time you will wonder what the hell are you doing. In a pseudo relationship, you are neither a friend or a girlfriend, you are somewhere in between and what do you call that something in between? Nothing! You are nothing! Who wants to be nothing?

Another important reason for women not to engage in pseudo relationships is because we deserve better. We should only be with a guy who's sure and has a good handle on stuff. I recently stopped seeing a guy because I don't want to be with a person who isn't sure about me. I don't want to be with someone who just wants to keep me around. I want to be with someone who wants to keep me, for real. I want to be a girlfriend. And I know that guy to be sure about a lot of things. He's sure about his life and where he's going and the fact that he's just keeping me around makes me feel that I'm not worth real time and effort. It makes me feel horrible that I'm the only thing that he's unsure of. It's sad to think that he thinks that there's someone out there better for him than me.

As women, we tend to invest emotionally. We're very emotional people. Sometimes, we can't separate the physical from the emotional and I tell you, a pseudo relationship only focuses on one of those two. You could  either be the best friend (the one he pours he heart and soul to, the one he babies) or the one he sexes up. When you're invested in a person, it's not a good thing to be either one. You have to be both. You should be the woman he can't take his hands off and the woman who his heart belongs to. Don't prefer to be one over the other. It's might be worse to be a booty call but being JUST a close friend is bad too when you know you want something more. When you're a close friend, it's going to hurt to think that he doesn't see you physically enticing to want to touch you. And it's going to hurt more when even he sees you naked, he still doesn't want to sex you. And it's going to hurt because his reason is going to be, "I see you as a little sister."

Pseudo Relationships are difficult to handle. You don't know where to place yourself. You don't know how to react to certain situations. You can't be jealous or angry because you have no right to be. You cannot turn a cold shoulder because the person expects you to care. You can't say no most of the time because you're thinking, "I might never see him again" or "I might lose him if I didn't do this". One reason why I wanted to stop seeing the guy I mentioned just a while ago is that I couldn't say no. He's really busy and he seldom has the chance to come and see me so when he does, I jump at the chance to see him. Then I realized that I don't want to be squeezed into someone's schedule. I want to be on the schedule. I want to be part of his agenda. I want  his calendar to have "Go on a date with M. Remember to buy her flowers. Roses are her favorite" scrolled down in red ink with a red circle around it. I want to be asked out in advance. I want someone to plan their dates with me. I don't want to settle for, "You hungry? Let's eat. Pick you up in five seconds." It's because I deserve better and I don't want to settle.

When you're in a Pseudo Relationship, you're always going to be second best. Since you're not the official girlfriend (worst case scenario: there is another girl in his life and that is the official girlfriend), everything's going to be more important than you. You'll always be placed second to work, family, friends, basketball practice, sleep, etc.

Engaging in Pseudo Relationships takes a lot of patience. There's a lot of waiting involved. Most often than not, there's a lot of waiting for nothing involved. I am a pretty patient person. I don't mind having my food delayed a few minutes in a restaurant. I don't mind waiting in line. I don't cross the street when the "walk" man is red even when the road is empty. I don't really care if my date arrives a few minutes late (as long as there's a valid reason). In fact, for these things I'll gladly wait because there's a reward in the end. Waiting for my orders in a restaurant just delayed my eating for a few minutes. I'll still be eating in the end and the plus side is the kitchen people and the waiters would like me enough not to do anything to my food. When I'm in line, I'll still be able to enter the theater, pay for my groceries, ride a cab, etc. When I patiently wait for the "walk" man to go green before I walk, it means that I'm sure that I'll cross the street safely. And a date arriving a few minutes late will still mean that I have a date and I get to punish him for being late. :P Waiting in a pseudo relationship could mean that you're waiting for someone who has no plans of showing up. It's like being at his front porch and you ring the doorbell and you wait for him to answer the door but he doesn't because he doesn't live there anymore. The sadder part is you don't have a clue.

Lots of my friends, including me as well, have been victims of these kinds of relationships. It starts out fun at first. It's exciting. You're taking it slow and all that crap. You have the option to date other people. But at a certain point, you'll realize that it's not exciting anymore and you want things to go on warp speed after all it's been a year since you've met and decided to take things slow. You won't want to date other people because you've just realized that you're already emotionally invested in this one person who may or may not be emotionally invested in you. I'm not saying it's wrong to engage in this kind of relationship, it's your life and you choose how you live it. I'm just offering a word of caution. A lot of relationships end in tears but a pseudo relationship generates more heartache than you would expect.

Here's my parting advice: It's not wrong to hope and wait for a person you love but when it's been a long time and you've sacrificed a lot and given him your all and he still doesn't reciprocate, you have to realize at some point that enough is enough. Don't waste years and youth for a guy who wouldn't want to spend a second and a cent for you. He's not and never will be worth it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the images posted above. Please don't sue me if you're mad that your photo's in here. :)

10 Things Why I Love Being a Woman.

I haven't posted in a while. I was busy with my other blogs. So as my welcome back post, I decided to list 10 things why being a woman is great. :D

Let me start from 10.

10.) Cute Underwear

- As a female, it is perfectly alright and sexy to have butterflies and hearts on our knickers. Our underwear comes in all shapes and sizes. From the g-string to the full on granny panties (which by the way are ever so comfortable).

9.) We Get to Wear Almost Anything!

- A lady sporting Menswear = Hot! A guy donning a baby tee and skirt = Sick!

8.) We Can Grow Our Nails and Paint Them

- Who doesn't love a good Mani Pedi?

7.) It's Perfectly Alright to be a Housewife

- Women have the luxury of opting not to pursue a career but instead work at home and take care of the children. Men are expected to be breadwinners and when they choose to stay at home, they are looked down upon as bums and jerks. Not only that, they feel bad that their better half is making the money.

6.) Make-Up

- Not everyone is blessed with good looks and thanks to make-up, ugly ducklings can transform themselves into Beautiful Swans with a stroke of a Blush Brush and a wand of Lip Color. :D Gladly, I look decent enough even without make-up.

5.) No Zipper Troubles
- I have listened to countless stories from men about getting their "thing" caught in their zippers. I bet that hurts. :P Being a woman and we don't have anything dangling, we don't have to worry about getting caught in zippers.

4.) Foreskin
- In the Philippines, it is extremely important for men to go through the process of  "Circumcision." A man is mocked for being uncircumcised. And circumcision is also one of those macho things so when you're not circumcised, it means that you weren't man enough for the pain. But when you're a woman, you don't have to go through circumcision. Yeah, we undergo much worse but then at least, we don't go through this one. Imagine, getting circumcised and undergoing labor, life's going to be a bitch. :P

(I'm not going to show a picture! Are you insane?)


3.) The Pursuit
- Times have been changing and let's admit, the dating scene has changed a lot compared to the good old days. But even though, a lot more women are becoming open and liberated towards the world of dating, we still like being pursued by a guy and most often than not, it's how it normally works. Not many women can summon the guts to ask out a guy he likes and well according to many guy columns I read, men don't really like the "aggressive" type of woman and they enjoy the chase. So it's nice that as a woman I don't have to worry about impressing him that much because if he likes me enough to ask me out, he probably is already impressed and he'll do all the work so I'd like him too.

2.) Motherhood
- Motherhood is beautiful. Being Pregnant is a beautiful thing. Imagine being able to birth life into this world. I know that it's so hard to undergo through labor but when you see your beautiful child, healthy and most importantly breathing, it makes the pain all worth it.

( This is number two because I don't believe that the essence of a woman is to become mothers. Many women choose not to have babies and some women aren't physically able to do so but it doesn't make them any less of woman.)

1.) Shock Value
- Female Equality has just began to sprout up and back in those days, many women weren't able to do so much. So now that women are taking the world by storm (to compensate for the hundreds of years we were treated unequally by our male counterparts), people are at awe at us. There are no more first anything for Men. They've done it all. And people expect them to have done it all but they hold low expectations for us women because there's still that old notion that we are incapable of doing anything and then we do it and we excel at it. What greater feeling is there than to say to those doubting nitwits, "In your face, you doubting nitwits" or "Suck it, doubting nitwits"?

I just love being a woman for these reasons and so much more. We women are complex creatures and we are taking the world by storm. Hooray for Us!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the images posted above. Please do not sue me if I used your photo. :)

What are you doing?

You're a young, beautiful, and independent woman. What are you doing to yourself? Why are you crying over some jerk who doesn't want you and doesn't value what you have to offer?

Listen to me. If a guy likes you, he would go through storms to pursue you. If not, then he wouldn't give a damn. Do not ever think that he just doesn't know that he likes you because he does know and he doesn't like you. Guys are logical creatures. They don't like wasting time on something they know they don't want. Why should they?

It's been two years already. Are you going to waste another two years of your 20's? It's not worth it. We're supposed to be having fun with the wrong ones. He's the wrong one and he isn't fun at all. So it's not worth the time and/or money.

It may be healthy for your overall well being to bash the girls he likes however "palengkera" and "malandi" they are but that's his type. Don't you see if you want him to like you, you have to be palengkera and malandi also. That's not a good thing.

A lot of guys would readily trade places with him and I think you should give them a chance. You're only 21 for heaven's sake. It's not yet time to look for a husband. And I don't think, based on the way he's treating you, he'd make a fine husband.

You have standards. He doesn't fit. You deserve better than him. Why do you like keeping him around? Why do you like getting hurt so much? It's not fun at all but you like it. Some girls are real masochists.

Do not ever say you can't move on because if you really wanted to, you could and you will. It took me three years to get over a guy and I admit it's painful and up until now there are a lot of unanswered questions in my head but I'm okay. Those questions need not be answered anymore because I have survived.

The reason why you can't move on because you don't want to. The only thing that's getting in the way is you. You like how the whole thing feels. You mistook the whole thing for the real relationship. Pain isn't the only thing that is in a relationship. There's also happiness. There isn't one ounce of happiness in whatever you're engaged in. What the hell is happy about being "just a friend"? And don't give me the crap about him being near/close is enough. It isn't. It's never enough. Part of being human is wanting more and craving for something better. Being just friends isn't better when what you really want is to be his girl friend. Here it is, he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend.

He is not the Alex to your Gigi. The Jack to your Rose. The Ian to your Samantha. The Griffin to your Phoenix. The Jonathan to your Sarah. The Edward to your Bella. The Henry to your Lucy. The Rhett to your Scarlet. The Harry to your Sally. The Eric to your Ariel. The Phillip to your Aurora. The Shang to your Mulan. The Dimitri to your Anastacia. The Prince Charming to your Cinderella. The Romeo to your Juliet. The Dorothy to your Jerry. The Troy to your Gabriella. I could cite a lot more examples but you get my point. He's not any of those! So stop thinking and believing that he is.

He doesn't want you. He really doesn't. Unless you stop believing that, you'll never move on. You'll rot waiting for him. In the words of Sam from the movie "A Cinderella Story", "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Hopeless and disappointing." STOP THIS! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GREAT!

What does it take for someone like me to make you comprehend the obvious? I care. You know I'll always understand. I just don't like repeating myself. I know I give sane advice but I do not want to be in the middle of this very complex relationship. I am just a friend. A friend that's supposed to lend a shoulder to cry on. I've done my part. Will you please do yours?

Lists and Cycles

After a tragic event in my life, I have somehow decided that it's going to take a while before I enter into a relationship again. But since I'm still a human person, I have to find ways to meet my needs as a person and these include my need for attention and affection. Hence, I have boylets.

James Marsden. Isn't he dreamy?

Boylets. Definition? Well, I guess you could say that they're like boyfriends without the commitment. It's different from being 'friends with benefits' because it's more complicated than that. In being friends with benefits, there is no possibility of a commitment whereas in my kind of relationship, there is. That is where the complication starts. It takes a strong heart and a big brain to endure this kinds of relationship.

Why is it more complicated? It's because there's a possibility of a commitment later on. When you enter into this kind of relationship, you don't know what's going to happen. That's why when I acquire a boylet, I am very careful because it's too risky to be investing emotions in someone and something I'm not really sure of. It's more complicated because when the fun ends, you don't know how to end it. This is tricky because you don't know how the other person is feeling. Would he care or not? Normally when a girl ends a relationship we just wanted to see if he'd care enough to run after her. We'd like it if he cared. It's not that we want to hurt him. We just want to see if we matter. It's also complicated because one can't make demands. Unlike in real relationships, you couldn't demand that he should see you whenever and wherever so you could do whatever. You just have to go with the flow.

What are the advantages? For starters, there is no actual commitment. You are not obligated to just have one guy at a time. You can have loads and you can just choose from those who want to commit to you. You don't really feel guilty about dumping him or anything because in the first place, you can't break up with someone when you aren't technically together. And as much as this is a complication, the fact that one can't make demands is an advantage. You don't have to change yourself or do something just because he wants you to. You don't have to constantly please him. You don't have to stop flirting with other men. You're not obligated to have sex with him. You don't have to change your hair or your way of clothing just because he wanted you to.

Don't get me wrong. I love the Spice Girls but I never was a fan of their style.

When I was doing a little self-reflection the other day, I realized two things. One is that I always get what I ask for and two is that there is a cycle.

Let's elaborate on the first one, shall we? Two years ago, I remember my friends and I were talking about the guys we wanted to date and we decided to turn it into a list. Mine included facial features, height requirements, age, job, lifestyle and a lot more. Of course, "gwapo" will always be a mainstay in my list. (Sigh...)

My height requirements are 5'4 to 5'8. Age range is two years younger than me up until 30. That time it was 16-28. Job? Well, I'm into the artsy types so if a guy makes a living out of being artsy, it's definitely a plus for me.Not looking like this though.

I also remember my list included guys who smoke and drink.

Smoking and Drinking

I also wished for a guy who's going to leave soon. (Weird? I know.)

Bye!

Lo and behold, I got exactly what I wanted. I met this guy and he's sixteen (when I met him, he said he was 18). He's 5'6. He's gwapo. He's still in high school because he lives in the US. Since he lives in the US, he was only here for Christmas and he was about to leave a week after. After that guy, I modified my requirements a little bit. In other words, I kind of lowered my standards. He doesn't need to be gwapo just as long as he isn't an eyesore. Shia La Beouf is lowering standards? Sheesh.

I also changed my mind about him leaving soon. I just wished that he'll be too busy with school or work. Also, I said that it would be okay to date someone two years younger but maybe when I'm 22. All the rest remain the same. Then I met this guy, he isn't gwapo but definitely not an eyesore. He's less than a year older than me. He's an architecture student. He's 5'6. And he's not leaving anytime soon and he is a busy person and he barely had time for me. Obviously, I got everything I asked for but it didn't work out that well. Time for modifications again. I only modified the part about being too busy and drinking and smoking. I do not like my guy to be a smoker and drinker because what if he turns out to be the one? I don't want him dying anytime soon. So, I met this guy and well, I can't say anything yet because it's an ongoing project. Hehe.

Let's move on to the second one. Yes, I noticed that there is a cycle with the guys I 'date'. First stage is the "Meeting." Duh! No need to explain. Flowers?

The second stage is the "Texting/Calling Every Freakin' Second of Every Freakin' Minute of Every Freakin' Hour of every Every Freakin' Day!" It's elaborated enough.Oh Crap! No signal!

The third stage is "Officially, He's out of the Friend Zone." This is where I find out that he's not after friendship but something deeper but well, time is needed for a relationship to bloom. LOL

The fourth stage, "OMG! I think I Like Him!" This is serious. I have to do something to make this work. This feels nice...

The fifth stage is, "Where Is He?" He suddenly becomes busy. He still keeps in touch but not as much as before when we were still in the second stage. This usually comes with valid reasons from the other party like work and/or school. Where the hell is he?

The sixth stage is, "Desperate Measures". This involves excessive texting, getting all worked up and moody and worst case scenario is dumping him either directly or indirectly. Scary!

The seventh stage is "His Realizations." He realizes that he really does like me and he keeps in touch regularly often setting up dates and etc.

So Cute!

The eight and final stage is, "I'm Bored." The excitement is over. I have my catch and what's next? Nothing. I'll stop replying. I won't stay up late anymore. I'm out to find the next one so this stupid cycle can begin again.

Boring!

I usually get to the final stage of the cycle but sometimes it could end somewhere else. It could end just after the second stage because or maybe later in the sixth stage. It takes a month or two for the cycle to complete itself. It could end differently though. For example, when it's the final stage, the guy could do something like proclaim his undying love for me (Cheesy, I know) and demand that we have a relationship and I could either accept the idea or reject it. He could also dump me if he doesn't like me at all.

This kind of relationship is usually fun but well, it can get tiring especially towards the end. I don't like hanging around for too long. It's not a good idea because I end up disappointed. I only hang around when I feel that there could be something special but then it takes too long. I don't like waiting.

Waiting...

I like the traditional courting better. It's less complicated and I get to be sure that he really does like me. I am also in control. There are flowers and chocolates and jewelry. But it's only heaven when you like him back. When you don't, it's only mean to keep him hanging around, waiting for your sweet yes. In that case, get advise from a professional dumper. If that's not feasible, you could always text him or drop him a 27 second phone call. I know of someone who dumped his girlfriend through e-mail. If you're going for subtle yet dramatic, try this: Change your status to Single on Facebook. He'll definitely notice. Others will too.

Try this. It might work. LOL

I'm really hungry. I haven't had dinner yet and it's 5:06 AM already. I'm not sleepy because I slept the whole day. What I just said was totally out of topic. Haha. Anyway, I can't think anymore. I was thinking of a genius conclusion to all the hullaballoo I was doing but I got nothing. I'm sorry. I'll edit this as soon as I think of one. Haha.

Manhid!

I remember being in a relationship a long time ago and his main problem about me is that I don't get jealous enough. IKR? Why would somebody have a problem with that?

Well he also said that I'm not sweet enough. I also don't agree with him and also, I don't listen to him that much. That's not all but those are his main problems.


Is it really required for the girl to be sweet towards his man? Does it necessarily follow that when a guy gets a girl, that the girl would be nurturing and caring to him? For heaven's sake, he has his mother for that.


My ex usually gets angry at me when I make fun of him. I remember making fun of his basketball skills. He was a member of the varsity team which I don't really get. I think it's because he's "gwapo" that's why he got through try-outs. He also got mad the time he got a haircut and I said, "ang pangit mo!" Now that I think about it, it's sort of mean.

I was never a sweet child growing up. My parents can attest to that. I do remember giving them cards every occasion which makes me thoughtful but not really sweet. That's me. I show my love in different ways.


Well, this is me. I may be insensitive most of the time but it doesn't mean that I don't really care because I do. I care a lot. I cared a lot about him. I just didn't show it the way that he would see it.


It's always interesting how men look for stuff in women and then realizing it at the last moment they don't like it. I know countless of men who would give the world to find a girl who isn't jealous, doesn't nag and all those stuff they complain about and when they finally do get that kind of girl, they find out that she's bordering into insensitivity and they don't want her anymore. Even if they look insensitive, it doesn't mean they are. They just have ways to show it. They will still get hurt when you leave them.
Oh well, that's life. There will always come a time in one's life where you think you want something and when you finally have it, you realize you never really wanted it in the first place. Complicated? Yeah. I'm dealing with exactly this at the moment. Whew!